Mansplaining happens when a cis man explains to a gender discriminated person what they already know, even though they haven’t asked. To make sure you understand it properly, this definition calls for a little glossary:
- a cis man is a man whose gender corresponds to the one assigned to him at birth.
- a gender discriminated person is someone who faces gender discrimination: a cis woman, a trans person or a non-binary person.
Men Explain Things to Me
In her book ‘Men Explain Things to Me’, Rebecca Solnit recounts an anecdote that happened to her at a party. A man, hearing that her latest book was about the British photographer Edward Muybridge, interrupted her to tell her about a ‘very important’ book on the subject published last year. In a smug diatribe, he began to explain the contents of the book to her, although it soon transpired that he had never opened it and had only read an article about it. It took one of Rebecca Solnit’s friends saying ‘She wrote it’ three or four times for him to realise that he was talking to the author herself. This is a perfect example of mansplaining: a man explaining to an author the book she has written, when he himself has not even read it. The publication of this text gave rise to the term ‘mansplaining’.
In its most oppressive version, the mansplainer assumes from the outset that he or she is the holder of knowledge and that the person to whom he or she is explaining is ignorant. This is all the more obvious in stereotypically male fields such as DIY, mechanics or sport. What female driver hasn’t been told how to parallel park by a man passing by? What female mechanic hasn’t had her tools literally ripped out of her hand? In fact, these predictions are self-fulfilling, with gender discriminated people finding it much harder to acquire certain skills because they have to fight to learn them.
But mansplaining is not limited to overtly paternalistic and patronising comments. Sometimes the mansplainer is well-intentioned and knows the subject they are addressing. Sometimes, the mansplained person is not very well informed. But perhaps they want to learn for themselves, or they simply don’t want this particular person to explain it to them, or not right now. In any case, they didn’t ask for anything. It comes down to consent. And it doesn’t matter what the mansplainer’s intentions are, what matters at the end of the day is how the person being victimised feels.
Systemic origins
The origins of mansplaining are clearly systemic, with men traditionally considered to know best. In the media, the majority of people presented as experts are men. Although the gap is tending to narrow today, it is still very much present and the effects on the collective imagination are not about to fade. As a result of these many role models, boys grow up identifying with the role of the expert. they are conditioned to see themselves as such, especially as they are perceived as such.
Added to this is a profound virilist injunction: a ‘real’ man must be able to fend for himself and must know everything about everything, or risk losing his virility. This leads directly to the concept of masculine fragility, which we’ll take more time to explain in another article. Unable to admit socially that they don’t know something, boys learn to pretend and, by the same token, gradually conditions themselves to believe that they do.
What’s more, coming to a woman’s ‘rescue’ gives a man a position of importance, given that he has always been taught that he must be a knight in shining armour. This is sometimes a ‘seduction’ strategy. It can also be seen as a strategy of domination. And in the end, the ‘service’ rendered is not an altruistic act, since its main objective is to flatter the ego of the mansplainer, while – voluntarily or not – demeaning that of the mansplained.
Conversely, gender discriminated person are much more prone to imposter syndrome, being used to having their skills and knowledge called into question. And mansplaining is a major contributor to this feeling.
Far from us to say that all cis men are manipulators. While some consciously use mansplaining as a tool of domination, this is generally a built-in mechanism that is completely unconscious. But that doesn’t change its effects.
So, the next time you feel like explaining something to someone, remember to ask them first if they want to. And if it involves a manual skill such as DIY or mechanics, offer to explain how to do it, rather than doing it for them.
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